Lucky Not

It's reality that strikes me today. I think I should watch my back always from now on. I think there will be no one else to do it but myself. It's funny though how I accepted it today... no, maybe tonight.

I felt sad after realizing how after all this year, I've seen how stupid I've been. Just a few hours ago, it flashback. Yeah, you can say it is too shallow. But then again, I think it really matters to me. Like those times when he would think twice before giving me anything... or those non-committed words uttered just to make me shut up. Those times when I already chose and then he would recommend another as if what I want doesn't matter.

I felt sad, how I think I have been overwhelming happy when I saw him smiling with his new purchases. How I would encourage him to buy what he wanted and never look at the price because what matters is he was able to get what he wanted.

Yeah, I think embracing this sad facts should be what I'm doing from now on. If I want something... I should tell it to myself. If I need something, myself should buy it. If there's something I am happy about, I should discuss it to myself. I have only me now. Nothing else.

The life partner I have.... is just a mere father of my kids. Period.